Newt Gingrich: Is He a Cannibal, and Why is He Still Alive?

Newt Gingrich, serial adulterer, self-aggrandizing “historian”, former Southern Baptist, now Roman Catholic, wants to be President.   I have questions.  For instance with two divorces behind him and admitted affairs, does he  take Holy Communion? Does he participate in the cannibalistic ritual of eating  and drinking the flesh and blood of Christ? If so, then how did he get around the RCC’s squeamishness about divorces, particularly considering that Newt has been lying all along about his first  divorce. It seems that he filed the papers himself and  it was not by mutual agreement. Old friends have quoted him has saying  at the time,  ‘You know and I know that she’s not young enough or pretty enough to be the wife of a president.'”  He then went on to his second marriage during which he had a six-year affair with a congressional aide, his current wife Calista. During this adulterous affair he  was pushing for the impeachment of Bill Clinton  for similar offenses. When he divorced  his second wife, he did it in typical Newt fashion when according to her he asked his whore to marry him before he even asked her for a divorce.. These things would seem to disqualify him from eating Jesus, but as any Lutheran boy who went through three years of confirmation classes can tell you( I for one), one of the things that got Martin Luther’s panties in a twist was the Catholic sale of indulgences, i.e, Heavenly forgiveness for cash. The Church has allegedly outlawed the practice, but,wouldn’t it be nice to have a well known Tiffany shopper in your parish? Who knows for sure?

Which brings me to my next question. Why is Newt still among the living. Doesn’t the Bible  specify death for  adulterers? I believe the good book lists stoning as the preferred method? Why aren’t the Christofacists all over this one.  Here you have a serial philanderer, to whom the 6th commandment appears to be a trivial matter. Stone him at the gates of the city, I say! Or, you could ignore the  cheating and lying and  elect the bastard President anyway. It would be the Republican thing to do.  SOB

Newt and his current adulteress

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